From anonymous
I know many women hate
hearing the word, ‘ego’ but that is a critical aspect of a man. His
ego builds the pride in your man to be responsible, take care of his
family and protect it. The greatest responsibility of a woman is to
safeguard her man’s ego. If you want to chase him away, keep bruising
his ego, if you want him to perform his best in his responsibilities
keep affirming him. Men are not necessarily looking for a stunning
beautiful woman, but a secure and confident lady who will respect them.
Whereas men derive their confidence and self-esteem from their career
and achievement his woman remains the single most enhancer of his
self-esteem. There is never a middle ground on this; you either have a
man who is always enthusiastic to tell you his plans for the family,
career, business and other dreams or a timid gentleman. Those men who
have been belittled at home either remain quiet at home or become
runaway husbands with the bar, office and mistresses being their escape
destinations. Just like women want to be valued, pampered, taken out
and their feelings understood men love it when their ego is Massaged.
Woman of God,here are some points to note down about men and what to
do,or not do: 1:AVOID SHOUTING HIM DOWN Many women lie to themselves
that by shouting down or speaking their mind at their men they will tow
them to line, but in most cases it doesn’t. Just like the way women
love it when their men listen to them when they are offloading, men
appreciate to be listened to during a conflict resolution moment. You
don’t win by shouting him down, you lose him. It helps when you
listened to his side of the story even when you think you are right.
Don't tear down what he's saying midway! There is no man so insensitive
not understand your views when addressed with respect. Shouting your
husband\ boyfriend down will most likely bruise his ego, send him to
quietness and eventually send him away from your house. Most women love
letting out when they are angry, but remember your man is not your
door mat to tell all the bad words in your heart. All of us get angry
but the difference is what we do with it. If you can’t control your
anger learn to hold your words till you have cooled down. The Story of
Abigael in 1st Samuel 25 is worthy noting for every woman of God.
Verse 36-37 says "When Abigail arrived home, she found that Nabal (the
husband) was throwing a big party and was celebrating like a king. He
was very drunk, so she didn’t tell him anything about her meeting with
David until dawn the next day. In the morning when Nabal was sober, his
wife told him what had happened. Abigail like any woman who is
concerned about her family must have been angry and infact,very angry,
but she waited until when the husband was sober and informed him of
what had happened. He got a stroke and in 10 days, he died. Abigail was
wise enough to know when to talk to the husband and when to keep
silent. 2: BE A GOOD HOST Everyman wants to build a successful family,
more so we all want to portray this to friends and family. Besides
their ego, men’s confidence is boosted by the ability to bring up a
successful marriage. Every man prides in a warm home created by the
woman of their dreams. Serving his visitors warmly feeds his pride and
earns you extra points. My dear sisters, When his friends and family
are around, your man is looking up to you to be a good host. Let him
not take his visitors out of your house because you're not interested
with his people or visitors. Why should he take his visitors to a hotel
to eat when you're a round? Even when you can't cook, be the one to
compel them to stay and rush out to buy the snacks for them. Build his
confidence by putting your best foot forward in making his visitors
comfortable. 3:The biggest mistake a woman can do to a man, is complain
about his visitors and worse still, his relatives. Some of this men
you are married to or even dating were brought up by the village and
they value everyone who made a mark in their life. Yes, some relatives
are not good but please, keep your mouth shut and never complain about
it unless your life is in danger. Many men know how to deal with every
visitor or relatives and be sure, they will always welcome people they
know you will be comfortable with. Ask God to give you grace if you
have problems with his relatives but don’t shout any down. If you do
that,you are literally telling him, I don’t value you 4:Some husbands
are good and help in cooking and cleaning utensils in the house but
when visitors are in the house, please don't call him to help you cook
or clean utensils. He wants to create the impression that he has a
lovely responsible woman by his side. If you run him around, that's the
genesis of the word Bibi amemkalia (The wife has sat on him). Every
man wants a good name out there and when in your house, just know that
the relatives and friends are watching your every move and it will
translate to a good name out there or a bad one. Proverbs 31:23 says
"Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the
other civic leaders. Always do your best to make your family
comfortable by making your husband have a good name out there. My dear
sisters, Your man’s confidence and responsibility is boosted by your
affirmation of his ego, respect and encouragement. Develop that
attitude and your marriage will soon be in the New-york times as
exemplary.You will see people flocking to your home,for the secret of a
better marriage. God's desire is that you may build your man up and
not tear him down. Do your best to safeguard his ego and your marriage
will last. May God help you. Amen.
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